Free Time Shenanigans
by TEvans3
Summary: What do SG-1 do with their free time? So far... "Teal'c You Can Juggle?", "Trick or Teal'c", "All Around the World", "Generators and Fireworks"
1. Teal'c, You Can Juggle?

"Teal'c, you can juggle?"

Part one of the 'Free Time Shenanigans' series.

I was bored and hung over and this is what happened... not that great but hey, boredom eh. Feel free to comment.

Set after Season Eight's 'Threads'. While on a team night at Jack's house, Carter and Daniel find out Teal'C can juggle.

I don't own Stargate or anything... just using them. So don't sue!

F.T.S

"Teal'c, you can juggle?" Carter asked surprised as she watched her old friends juggle three oranges in the air on the sofa opposite her.

"Indeed Colonel Carter" He answered as he continued to juggle in a way which seemed so effortless. "O'Neill taught me"

"He's a quick learner" Jack piped up from the chair beside Carter, sipping from a bottle of lager. "Within two loops he was juggling five at a time"

"Two loops?" Daniel whipped his head from watching Teal'c in amazement to looking at Jack with a confused expression.

"O'Neill also taught me the game of golf and the correct procedure of a backswing during the loop" Teal'c placed the oranges down.

A 'oh crap' expression ran swiftly across Jack's face but was quickly replaced with a blank expression accompanied with a slight raise of the eyebrows. "What?" He played dumb when both of the Dr's were glaring at him.

"You taught Teal'c to golf while you were looping?" Daniel asked.

"Indeed he did Daniel Jackson. Several billion miles"

Jack gave Teal'c a sharp look.

"Several billi..." Daniel was obviously confused.

"You played golf through the Stargate?" Carter said wide-eyed.

"Damn-it Teal'c! No more beer for you" He shook his head. The big guy is probably the best secret keeper ever known and yet give him a few beers and he's dishing it all out.

"Isn't that against regulations or something?" Daniel furrowed his eyebrows.

"Hey" Jack raised a hand defensively. "It was your idea Daniel"

Daniel looked at his team mates in turn confused before turning back to Jack. "How so?"

"What you said. Something about an opportunity and no consequences" Jack muttered.

Carter and Daniel looked at both of them curiously. "What else did you two do?" Carter asked.

"Ah, well now that would be telling Carter" He gave her a lop-sided grin.

"Many activities one would be forbidden to do otherwise. You enjoyed one of these activities fondly Colonel Carter" Teal'c gave her a rare cheeky smirk with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Carter and Daniel said simultaneously.

"Teal'c! Fer cryin' out loud!" Jack looked at him in disbelieve. Then sighed with a roll of the eye's.

"What activity?" Carter looked at Teal'c suspiciously.

"Ah!" Jack gave him a warning look.

"I must not say" Teal'c bowed his head.

Jack jumped from his seat. "Anyone for another?" He waved his bottle doing his best to change the conversation.

"Indeed" Teal'c agreed.

"Oh no, no, no, no. I don't think so T. You've had enough"

"Wait, what happened?" Daniel asked, he wasn't going to let this one go.

"Come on Sir, it can't be that bad"

Jack smiled at her dumb-founded. "Oh no Carter, not bad at all" He grinned cheekily.

Daniel looked at the two officers suspiciously. "So, tell us"

Jack raised both hands in a surrendering motion. "Alright I tell ya what Danny boy... if ya don't ascend in the next few months you might get to see a re-enactment" He smirked.

Carter and Daniel were even more confused than before and gave each other a 'what the hell' glance and looked back at the grinning General. Jack gave Carter a wink with his boyish charm smile before exclaiming "More beer!" and turned on his heels into the kitchen.

"Did Jack just wink at you?" Daniel's eyebrows were nearly coming off his head.

"I, er, I think so" Carter replied a little dazed.

They looked at each other then at Teal'c and then back to each other with mischievous grins on their faces.

"Hey Teal'c, have you ever had a tequila shot?"


	2. Trick or Teal'c

**Trick or Teal'c**

Part two of the 'Free Time Shenanigans' series.

It's almost Halloween! So here's your treat!

Set in season four, some time. The team show Teal'c how to trick or treat... or Teal'c shows them how to do it.

I don't own Stargate or anything... just using them. So don't sue!

F.T.S

"I believe it is Earth custom to travel to different human homes and offer a trick or receive candy, while dressed in costume attire, on this holiday" Teal'c stated as he joined the commissary table with the remainder of his team.

"Trick or treat?" Daniel asked looking up from his mug of coffee.

"Indeed. I wish to take part in this activity"

"Teal'c I don't think..." Daniel began.

"Should I not participate in human customs DanielJackson" It wasn't exactly a question.

"No, it's not that. It's just it's more of a child thing" Daniel placed down his mug, he looked like he was about to get into a whole detail rant about Trick or Treating.

"Nonsense" Jack scoffed. "The big guy can go trick or treating if he wants"

"Will you assist me O'Neill?"

_Damn _"Er well..." Jack glanced at Daniel and Carter. "Well, it's more of a team thing" If he was going down he was taking the two scientists with him.

"What?" Daniel and Carter said in unison which stopped Carter from giggling.

"C'mon, it's Halloween kids"

"Sir, are you sure?" She really wasn't feeling this whole idea.

"Where's your Halloween spirit Carter? It'll be fun" Jack took the last swig of his coffee, patted Teal'c on the shoulder and stood up. "Get ya costumes on and we'll meet here at 1900"

With that Jack left leaving two slightly irritated and gobsmacked Doctors and an amused Jaffa.

F.T.S

As it was late the commissary was pretty empty apart from the janitor mopping the floors. Jack was first in there dressed as a very impressive pirate complete with a toy pirate on his shoulder, a hook on his hand and a fake sword hanging from his pants. He sat on the edge of the table fiddling with his pirate hat trying to get it just right.

"I can NOT believe you are making us do this Sir" Carter spoke as she walked in.

He looked up to her and was about to make a snarky comment but was stopped in his tracks at the sight of her. She wore a very tight cat woman suit, ears and tail as well, that hugged her every curve. Jack couldn't help but stare as she made her way over to him.

"Well, actually I can believe it" She rolled her eyes but a smile crept on her lips.

He finally broke out of his gaze and did his best to keep his eyes on her eyes. "Hey, it was Teal'cs idea. He's really into this whole being Earthly thing lately"

"Yeah, just last week I caught him gossiping about celebrities to Janet"

"Teal'c? Gossiping?"

Carter just gave a broad grin and a head nod which received a wide smile from Jack.

"So what's the plan Sir?"

Before Jack could answer Daniel strolled in dressed as a Mummy... yeah, figures. "Hey guys" He seemed to have perked up a little more than earlier. Probably just had his coffee hit.

"Hey" Carter greeted back with a smile. "You look great"

"Thanks! Wow! So do you Sam" He said as he finally noticed what she was wearing.

"You bet'cha she does" Jack added before he could think it over and gave an awkward smile.

Sam smiled at the both. "Thank you. I must say Sir I always thought you'd make a good pirate"

"Really?" Jack and Daniel asked.

Just then Teal'c finally arrived. He was dressed as a potato, yes, a potato. A potato suit with his head sticking out at the top. The three watched him as he did his best to walk respectively over. Carter did her best to suppress her laughter as Jack and Daniel watched on with raised eyebrows.

"How do I appear?" Teal'c asked standing before them.

"You look 'mashing" Daniel said in a very convincing English accent.

Jack glared at Daniel giving him a 'really?' kinda look. Carter however had burst out into giggles when Daniel's joke pushed her over the edge.

"You look great T!" Jack did his best to convince him.

"Thank you O'Neill. As do you" He looked over Carter and Daniel. "All of you" He bowed his head in respect.

"Alrighty then! I thought it would be wise to have a little practice run before we go out into the real world"

"What?" Daniel furrowed his eyebrows. "Actually yeah, that is probably a good idea" He thought it over as he looked at Teal'cs choice of costume.

"Then it's settled. To General Hammond's office"

F.T.S

The roar of Hammond's laughter was silenced as the last member of SG-1 leaving his office closed the door.

"Well, I think we're ready to trick or treat outside the base" Jack grinned as he closed the office door.

"We have not yet completed this trick or treat O'Neill" Teal'c pointed out.

Jack looked at Teal'c. "Sure we have Teal'c" Jack began to make his way down the corridor followed by Daniel and Carter.

Teal'c did not move from his position. "GeneralHammond did not give us a treat"

They all stopped and turned to face Teal'c. "Yeah, so?" Jack asked.

"Therefore we must give GeneralHammond a trick"

"Whoa-ho Teal'c" Jack waved his hands in a 'no' signal as he walked towards him.

"What have you got in mind?" Carter had a mischievous grin on her face.

Jack turned to her surprised. "Carter?" He said in a warning tone.

"He is right Sir" She shrugged.

"It is custom Jack" Daniel was smiling.

Jack couldn't believe it; he glanced at them all with a questioning look. They all wanted to set a trick on the base commander. On the other hand, it was Halloween and it was the perfect opportunity. "What the hell" He surrendered. "But it better be a good one"

F.T.S

An hour later a furious Hammond made his way from his office to the gate room. "Walter! Get SG-1 down here NOW!"

"They've left the..." Walter swung around on his swivel chair to face the General. "What the hell happened, Sir?" Walter asked shocked doing his best not to grin but it didn't work.

General Hammond was soaked from head to toe in what seemed to be blue and green jell-o and covered in party popper paper. "It is not funny Sergeant! Get me that damn team up here now!"

"Yes Sir" Walter rose from his seat silently chuckling as his back was to the very annoyed and very jello-fied General before picking up the phone. _SG-1 was sure in for it now_, he thought as he dialled a number.


	3. All Around the World

**All Around the World**

I was just thinking we've never even got to see Jack actually do a trick right. One more reason why they should make Stargate: Revolution! Haha!

It's set in season 7 sometime

F.T.S

Jack wandered out of his office when he finally got some free time on his hands. Well he probably could have done all that paperwork or should have but he was going crazy from looking at it all. His legs needed a stretch. He wandered down the hall pondering on where to go. Teal'c was Kel'no'ree-ming so it was either commissary, Daniel's or Carters.

Halfway down the corridor and there was Walter right on queue. "General, we need to..."

"I'm taking my lunch Walter"

"Yes Sir. But Sir..."

Jack didn't even bother waiting for Walters response and was off round the corner. The commissary was the closest and he was feeling pretty hungry.

F.T.S

A ride down 5 levels, a walk down the hall and he was there.

His first instinct was to glance over at SG-1s self designated table and Daniel was sat there with more books than Jack thought was necessary and a coffee. His second instinct was the pie choosing and headed over to the hot counter, the commissary was pretty empty which was unusual. He quickly picked a pie, grabbed a coffee and headed over to their table.

"Hey" Jack spoke as he sat down.

"Hey Jack" Daniel lifted his head long enough to say that and smile.

"What ya got there? Books?" Jack ate a piece of pie with a slight amused grin.

Daniel was so concentrated on what he was doing it took him a few moments to realize Jack spoke. He lifted his. "What?"

"What ya doing?" Jack gestured to all the books with his fork.

Daniel glanced at Jack and his pie quickly before coming out his little daze. "Oh. Right..." He started turning pages in the books. "Going over the writings and glyphs from PX3783, there's just something what doesn't make sense"

"What's that?" Jack regretted it as soon as it left his mouth and rolled his eyes at himself before eating his last piece of pie.

"Well so far I got 'The provider shall be honoured, the war shall be banished and thebread shall pilot my boat'"

"So?"

Daniel glanced up at Jack with narrowed eyes. "'_Bread_ shall _pilot_ my _boat_'"

"So what? Maybe it does say that. Ya never know with these alien planets Daniel..." He stood up and grinned at him. "How do you know they didn't have bread that could sail boats" He turned to leave.

"What?" Was all Daniel could say obviously not agreeing.

Jack just smiled to himself and held up a hand before leaving the commissary. Jack's third instinct was to leave before Daniel got himself into a rant about writings and stuff.

F.T.S

Before he knew it he was at Carter's lab, he hovered at the doorway for a second as he watched her type super fast on her laptop.

"Hey Carter" He stepped in.

Her head sparked up to him. "Hi Sir" She smiled broadly.

"Wha'cha doin?" He asked as he sat down.

"Just writing up my report" She smiled as she watched him get comfortable. "Hiding out Sir?"

He narrowed his eyes at her with a small grin on his face. "Of course not" He was obviously lying. "Actually I come to ask you a scientific question?"

Her eyes widened, she wasn't expecting that. That was probably the last thing she'd hear come out of his mouth. "Sir? Are you okay?" She did sound half genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, why?"

She watched him over for a moment before shrugging. "Okay, what is it?" She challenged him.

He pulled out his yo-yo from his pocket and held it up. "How do you do an Around the World?"

"What? How is that a science question?"

"You're the scientist Carter, you tell me"

When Carter only just watched him confused he shrugged. "Ya know... gravity and... stuff" He guessed. "Physics!"

She chuckled and closed the lid of her laptop. "Alright" She may as well humour him she thought. She leaned over the table towards him. "What do you wanna know Sir?"

"The thing is I can do the actual Around the World part but I can't get it to land" He started to play with his yo-yo. "Look" He stood up and rolled up his yo-yo.

Carter suddenly stiffened up. "You gonna do that in here Sir?"

"Relax Carter" He groaned. "I aint gonna break anything" He turned to her to give her a smile before getting ready.

Carter let out a small giggle as she watched him, he was serious and determination was writ all over his face.

"No giggling" He muttered and threw the yo-yo round in a circle twice before trying to regain it but instead the yoyo string just wrapped round his hands. "Dang!" He moaned. "See what I mean" He sat back down while trying to get his fingers free.

Carter tried to stop smiling and look serious. "Well Sir... as the yo-yo is spinning it gives it gyroscopic stability" She raised her eyebrows in a 'are you still following me' gesture. Jack simply nodded, he'd already lost her she thought. "So it resists to changes to its axis of rotation because an applied force moves along with it... as long as it's spinning fast enough"

All Jack understood was 'fast' and his head shot up with a raised eyebrow. "So I got to spin it faster?"

"Yeah but just not that" Carter shook her head. "Try spinning it anti-clockwise Sir, then when the yo-yo reaches the point where it started tug the string slightly. As you pull it, the yo-yo will follow the string into your hand"

Jack just raised his eyebrows confused. "So I... what?"

"Watch Sir" Carter leaned over and grabbed the yo-yo out of his hands, stood up and performed the trick easily.

Jack watched her with his mouth open shocked. "How did you do that?"

She grinned and put his yo-yo back in his hands. "Physics" She smiled wide.

"Huh" He looked slightly impressed down to the yo-yo. "I guess science isn't so bad"

She rolled her eyes smiling. "Just remember to tug"

"Right. Tug. Got it" He stood up and began his small 'getting ready' ritual thing again. "Here we go" He spun the yo-yo round once and completed the trick. As it landed in his hand he clenched his fists. "Yes! That's what I'm talking about" He was really excited like he just got a pump of adrenaline. He turned to Carter. "You really are a genius Carter" He grinned.

"Congratulations Sir" She was smiling from cheek to cheek.

He then started the trick again but before he could tug it back the yo-yo flew out of his hands. The yo-yo flew full speed straight in front smashing off some science doohickey that was placed on the shelf.

He slowly turned to a furious looking Carter who was staring at the broken thing. "Oops" He tried to smile.

She turned her head to him and glared. "Sir" She said through her teeth.

Jack looked quite scared but was saved by Walter over the inter com.

"General O'Neill to the briefing room. O'Neill to the briefing room"

Jack let out an exhale of relief and Carter was still glaring at him annoyed.

He gave Carter a lopsided smile. "Sorry" And practically ran out the door.

"Sir!" She raised her voice.

"Gotta go Carter" His voice trailed down the hall.


	4. Generators and Fireworks

**Generators and Fireworks**

Set a couple weeks after the previous chapter 'All Around the World', Jack's got a surprise for Carter.

This is probably a pointless little chapter but what the hell it's firework/bonfire (Guy Fawkes) night so had to write a little summin.

F.T.S

It just went 20:00 so Jack was certain Carter would still be poddling about in her lab and he was right. He strolled in and dumped the large-ish box he was carrying on the desk before her while wearing a proud smile.

Carter stopped typing and looked up at the box then at Jack confused. "What's this?"

"Well ya know I _accidently_ broke that science doohickey thing a couple of weeks ago? I got ya a new one"

Carter glanced at him and the box in disbelieve. "But... how did you know what it was Sir?"

"I do listen to what you talk about ya know Carter" He said defensively.

Carter just looked at him with that look that meant 'We both know that's not true'

"Alright Siler told me" He held his hands up in surrender "It's a Vandal Generator"

"A Van De Graff Generator" She corrected him.

"Whatever"

She smiled at him brightly. "Thank you Sir"

"Soooo we're even" He said cautiously while gesturing between the both of them.

"Sure" She nodded with a smile.

"Good" He let out an exhale. "Cause I heard a rumour you was going to wrap my yo-yo around my head"

"I'm pretty sure I'd get court martialed for that Sir"

"Oh. So it wasn't true?"

"I didn't say that" She grinned and looked back at her laptop.

Jack looked her down surprised and a tad scared before shrugging it off and looking at his watch. "Anyway, you ready?"

Carter shot her head up to him. "For what?"

"Beer, fireworks, bonfires and marshmallows" When Carter just looked at him confused he began to elaborate. "Apparently, according to Daniel, it's Guy Fawkes night. A yearly tradition in England where they have fireworks, bonfires and what not"

"But... we live in America Sir?"

"That's what I said!"

Carter giggled.

"But Teal'c is super excited and we both know what he get's like when he's let down"

"Yeah, his piercing glares are surely intimidating"

"You bet'cha. So let's go, you can play with your new Vandal Generator tomorrow"

Carter just rolled her eyes with an amused grin; she didn't even bother correcting him this time. Instead she just closed down her laptop and followed her CO out of her lab.


End file.
